Interview with a Vampire part II

Here is another transcription of an actual conversation that took place between myself and Boss John.  This is completely real and not a copy and pasted from a survey.

-What are you wearing? A pair of pants, my glasses, and a watch.  I’m thinking of buying a cock ring, and then just wearing that all the time to make answering these questions a little more fun.

-What is on the walls of the room you are in?

A lot of shit.  Two Star Wars posters, an ATHF: Movie Film for Theaters poster, a dead rose, a Michigan bottle opener, Ruoroni Kenshin doll, stop sign, some kinda whip thing/sex toy, two Star Wars Celebration badges, an Aztec calendar, my sword, surround sound speakers, and the back of the Simpson’s Season 5 box set just to name a few.

-If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

I would force humanity back into the wild.  Where they would die if they were too old, weak, or stupid to know how to survive.  Good old survival of the fittest.  Or I could just wipe out religion.  That would be fantastic.  Most likely I would just wipe out the human race, though

 -Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? My first abortion.

 -Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? My first abortion.

-What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates? As I’m rotting in my grave, and my molecules are being broken down, and I return to the earth, I will no longer exist.  I will be dead.  I wont be saying anything ever again.  There’s nothing quite so final as death.  I take comfort in knowing that once I’m dead I can go back to the non-existence I had before I was born.  There is no life after death.  That’s what death is!  The end of life!

 

Also, why the fuck would god have gates made out of pearl?!  That’s fucking retarded!  Are you humans worshiping a god damned all powerful oyster?!  Get some fucking sense!  Be realistic for a change!  I’m sick of this question…..  You’d all be going to hell if there was a god anyway.